{"id":22965,"date":"2025-04-20T21:33:55","date_gmt":"2025-04-20T12:33:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/?page_id=22965"},"modified":"2026-02-21T22:41:55","modified_gmt":"2026-02-21T13:41:55","slug":"sexless-marriage-japan","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/en\/sexless-marriage-japan\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Japanese Couples Stop Having Sex \u2013 The Truth Behind \u201cSexless Marriages\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<article>\n<p>Japan has one of <span class=\"hutoaka\">the highest rates of sexless relationships<\/span> in the world.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>And I don\u2019t just mean married couples in their 50s.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re talking about <strong>young, good-looking couples in their 20s and 30s<\/strong>\u2014sleeping in the same bed, sharing meals, even going on dates\u2026 but not having sex.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div class=\"st-kaiwa-box kaiwaicon1 clearfix\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-face\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/henshucho.png\" width=\"60px\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-face-name\">\u9f4b\u85e4\u7de8\u96c6\u9577<\/div><\/div><div class=\"st-kaiwa-area\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-hukidashi\">For months. Sometimes years.<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/article>\n<p>I\u2019ve been in Japan\u2019s dating world for over 15 years\u2014both as a participant and as a media analyst.<\/p>\n<p>And I can tell you: <span class=\"st-mymarker-s\">sexlessness in Japan isn\u2019t a rare issue. It\u2019s the norm<\/span>.<\/p>\n<article><\/article>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n    \n        \n                    <p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-23723\" src=\"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/genjitsu-author-English-2026.png\" alt=\"Online Dating Expert writing \u201dGenjitsu Weekly\u201d articles\" width=\"1080\" height=\"1080\" srcset=\"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/genjitsu-author-English-2026.png 1080w, https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/genjitsu-author-English-2026-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/genjitsu-author-English-2026-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/genjitsu-author-English-2026-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/genjitsu-author-English-2026-100x100.png 100w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 1080px\" \/><\/p>\n            <img decoding=\"async\" class=\"st-am-impression-tracker\" src=\"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/st-manager\/impression\/track?id=22989&type=raw&u=903382b8-9b68-4dfd-9b9c-e5d863a90c3e\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" alt=\"\" data-ogp-ignore>\n        \n\n                    \n            \n    \n\n<article>\n<h2>What the Data Says (And It\u2019s Worse Than You Think)<\/h2>\n<p>Let\u2019s start with some hard numbers:<\/p>\n<p>According to a study by Japan Family Planning Association (\u4e00\u822c\u793e\u56e3\u6cd5\u4eba \u65e5\u672c\u5bb6\u65cf\u8a08\u753b\u5354\u4f1a):<\/p>\n<div class=\"redbox\">\n<ul>\n<li><strong>74% of married couples in Japan report having no sex in the past month<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Over 60% of couples in their 20s are also sexless<\/strong><\/li>\n<li>\u201cLack of interest\u201d is the most common reason (not age or illness)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/article>\n<div class=\"st-kaiwa-box kaiwaicon1 clearfix\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-face\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/henshucho.png\" width=\"60px\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-face-name\">\u9f4b\u85e4\u7de8\u96c6\u9577<\/div><\/div><div class=\"st-kaiwa-area\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-hukidashi\">Yes\u2014most Japanese couples aren\u2019t avoiding sex because they\u2019re old or sick.<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<div class=\"st-kaiwa-box kaiwaicon2 clearfix\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-area2\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-hukidashi2\">They just\u2026 stopped caring.<\/div><\/div><div class=\"st-kaiwa-face2\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/wolf.jpg\" width=\"60px\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-face-name2\">\u30aa\u30aa\u30ab\u30df\u541b<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<article>\n<h2>The Usual Excuses: Work, Kids, Stress<\/h2>\n<p>Ask a Japanese husband or wife why they don\u2019t have sex, and you\u2019ll hear:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201cWe\u2019re both tired from work.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cWe have kids now, it\u2019s hard to find time.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cSex just isn\u2019t a priority anymore.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>And sure, those things matter.<\/p>\n<p>But let\u2019s be honest: <span class=\"st-mymarker-s\">if you really wanted it, you\u2019d make it happen<\/span>.<\/p>\n<\/article>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div class=\"st-kaiwa-box kaiwaicon1 clearfix\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-face\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/henshucho.png\" width=\"60px\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-face-name\">\u9f4b\u85e4\u7de8\u96c6\u9577<\/div><\/div><div class=\"st-kaiwa-area\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-hukidashi\">The real reasons go deeper\u2014and darker.<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<article>\n<h2>The Real Reasons: Emotional Distance and Quiet Resentment<\/h2>\n<p>Here\u2019s what nobody tells you:<\/p>\n<p>Most Japanese couples <span class=\"st-mymarker-s\">don\u2019t communicate about sex<\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>They don\u2019t flirt. They don\u2019t touch. They don\u2019t even joke about intimacy.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Sex becomes awkward. Then mechanical. Then nonexistent.<\/p>\n<\/article>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I once dated a Japanese woman in her early 30s. She told me,<\/p>\n<div class=\"st-kaiwa-box kaiwaicon3 clearfix\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-face\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/thinking-bijo-icon.png\" width=\"60px\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-face-name\">\u5973\u6027<\/div><\/div><div class=\"st-kaiwa-area\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-hukidashi\">My ex-husband and I hadn\u2019t touched each other in over two years. I still loved him. But it felt easier not to talk about it.<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<article>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>And that\u2019s the real issue: <span class=\"st-mymarker-s\">emotional stagnation disguised as politeness<\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>No one wants to \u201crock the boat,\u201d so they just let the relationship rot quietly.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2>The Female Libido: Rising Just as Men Stop Trying<\/h2>\n<p>Here\u2019s the cruel irony:<\/p>\n<div class=\"redbox\">\n<ul>\n<li>Women\u2019s sex drive tends to peak in their early 30s<\/li>\n<li>Men\u2019s often declines (especially in Japan, where overwork is the norm)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>So you have a situation where <span class=\"st-mymarker-s\">Japanese women want more sex than their husbands<\/span>, just as their husbands are \u201ctoo tired\u201d or emotionally withdrawn.<\/p>\n<p>That mismatch leads to:<\/p>\n<div class=\"graybox\">\n<ul>\n<li>Self-doubt<\/li>\n<li>Resentment<\/li>\n<li>And sometimes\u2026 secret lovers<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/article>\n<article>\n<h2>Where Do They Turn? The Rise of \u201cDiscreet\u201d Affairs<\/h2>\n<p>I\u2019ve met dozens of Japanese housewives through online dating apps like <strong>Happymail<\/strong> and <strong>PCMAX<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<\/article>\n<p><span class=\"sankou\">Related:<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/en\/japanese-dating-apps\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Top Japanese Dating Apps in 2026 (And What They\u2019re Really Like)<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<article>\n<p>And no\u2014they\u2019re not nymphomaniacs or homewreckers.<\/p>\n<p>They\u2019re polite, educated, often very shy women who simply feel invisible in their marriages.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>\u201cMy husband hasn\u2019t touched me in three years,\u201d one told me.<br \/>\n\u201cBut I\u2019m still a woman. I still have needs.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>These women don\u2019t want to destroy their families.<\/p>\n<p>They just want to feel desired again.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2>Is Cheating Always Wrong? Or Is It Survival?<\/h2>\n<p>Japan has a complicated view of morality.<\/p>\n<p>Cheating is publicly shamed\u2014but quietly tolerated if done discreetly.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>And in the case of sexless marriages, I\u2019ll be blunt:<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"st-mymarker-s\">I don\u2019t think it\u2019s always wrong<\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>If a couple is emotionally distant, physically disconnected, and unwilling to even discuss the issue, <span class=\"st-mymarker-s\">is a discreet affair really the worst thing<\/span>?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Western cultures might push for divorce.<\/p>\n<p>But in Japan, <span class=\"st-mymarker-s\">divorce is still stigmatized\u2014especially for women<\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div class=\"st-kaiwa-box kaiwaicon1 clearfix\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-face\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/henshucho.png\" width=\"60px\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-face-name\">\u9f4b\u85e4\u7de8\u96c6\u9577<\/div><\/div><div class=\"st-kaiwa-area\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-hukidashi\">So many stay\u2026 and look elsewhere for intimacy.<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2>The Cultural Roots of Sexlessness in Japan<\/h2>\n<p>This isn\u2019t just a \u201crelationship problem.\u201d It\u2019s a <strong>cultural one<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<div class=\"redbox\">\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Emotional expression is discouraged<\/strong> from childhood<\/li>\n<li><strong>Sex education is limited and clinical<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Marriage is treated like a job contract<\/strong>, not a romantic partnership<\/li>\n<li><strong>Society overvalues harmony and undervalues communication<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Japan teaches people to suppress desire\u2014not to explore it.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2>What Foreign Men Need to Know<\/h2>\n<p>If you\u2019re dating a Japanese woman\u2014or hoping to\u2014you need to understand:<\/p>\n<div class=\"graybox\">\n<ul>\n<li>Sexless relationships are common, not exceptional<\/li>\n<li>Japanese women are often emotionally generous, but sexually repressed<\/li>\n<li>Many want more\u2014but don\u2019t know how to ask for it<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>This is why foreign men who are emotionally open, patient, and nonjudgmental often succeed where Japanese men fail.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<article>\n<div class=\"st-kaiwa-box kaiwaicon1 clearfix\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-face\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/henshucho.png\" width=\"60px\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-face-name\">\u9f4b\u85e4\u7de8\u96c6\u9577<\/div><\/div><div class=\"st-kaiwa-area\"><div class=\"st-kaiwa-hukidashi\">If you\u2019re using apps like <span class=\"huto\">Happymail<\/span> or <span class=\"huto\">PCMAX<\/span>, know that some women there are married\u2014but sex-starved.<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2>Final Thoughts: Sexlessness Isn\u2019t Just a Bedroom Problem<\/h2>\n<p>It\u2019s a mirror.<\/p>\n<p>A reflection of Japan\u2019s deep discomfort with vulnerability, passion, and personal needs.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>If you understand that, you\u2019ll understand Japanese dating on a level most foreigners never reach.<\/p>\n<p>And maybe, just maybe\u2014<span class=\"st-mymarker-s\">you\u2019ll be the one who helps her feel alive again<\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2>Related Articles<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/en\/japan-dating-culture\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Japan\u2019s Dating Culture: What Foreigners Need to Know<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/en\/japanese-dating-apps\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Top Japanese Dating Apps in 2026<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Contact<\/h2>\n<\/article>\n<p>Feeling stuck in your relationship? Want real advice?<\/p>\n<p>Share your story\u2014or ask anonymously\u2014via our <a href=\"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/contact\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Contact Form<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Japan has one of the highest rates of sexless relationships in the world. &nbsp; And I don\u2019t just me &#8230; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":23000,"parent":22949,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-22965","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/22965","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22965"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/22965\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23729,"href":"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/22965\/revisions\/23729"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/22949"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/23000"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/affair.co.jp\/genjitsu\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22965"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}